Feel like your being used? Well here's a gift for YOU!

I just recently had someone say to me, "How can you let her use you like that?". With this statement they were meaning why would I keep treating her nicely with abusive or less then nice response from this person. Her not treating me in the same way I was treating her. Also, how could I give all that I was giving or sacrificing with little to no appreciation given from the person receiving it? Financially giving with no concern from that person for how it was affecting me and my family. Wasn't I tired of it?

 UM YES, I was tired! and part of me wanted to say, "I give it easily.", but that would have been a lie, because it wasn't "easily".

So, I really had to sit and think of WHY am I allowing this person to "use me"? Because honestly I had thought more then once, "She's just using me to get what she wants and thats it! Why would I continue to let this person drain me of all things mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially?" Everyone around me could see it, so why?

 I had to ask the only one that really had the answer, My Father. 

Here is was what the Holy Spirit showed me. 

They can't use something from you, that you aren't freely giving to them. 

This made me think.....

Yes, I am giving them my time, they aren't stealing it. I am choosing to give it to them.

I am giving them my patience, love, kindness, and service; you can't steal or take those thing from a person. Yes, I am financially giving to them, they didn't steal it, I gave. So, IF I am giving these things, then aren't they a gift? When you give a gift you do so willingly. You give a gift to a person to make them happy, see their face light up, and you give a gift that is useful to them, that they can USE! Therefore if I am giving of myself to a person I am intending on them to use whatever it is I am giving! 

The Bible says I should give freely for it was freely given to me (Matt 10:8). But just because love was given freely doesn't mean it didn't cost. It cost the person giving it. Jesus sacrificed so we could be forgiven freely. We are loved freely, given mercy and grace freely, and forgiven freely; but not without the sacrifice that cost God His son at the cross and Christ His life that He freely gave. No one stole his life, He freely gave it. 

Therefore, If I am striving to walk this life to be more like Him then I am going to give freely and hope that gift is used and not wasted. I am going to allow my love, kindness, patience, and all the things that I am striving to be to be used for His Glory at the cost of me sacrificing. This is the example that Christ gave us, therefore we follow. 

So do you view yourself as the "victim" in this? and your just being taken advantage of? OR are you a gift giver and your freely giving the things that the Holy Spirit has produced in you? If so, then you'll want to be used. You'll give from the gifts that were sacrificially given to you freely. 

SO, no longer will I worry about if a person is "using me" because I am choosing to freely give of myself to them; and hopefully, they will use what I give and not waste it; because it always costs someone something.  

Contempt, Contentment, or Cruising

I don't know about you but I have always been the kind of person that would rather learn a lesson through someone else's experience, then have to learn it the "hard way", and this time was no different.

We (one of my artists, her sister, 10mo, and myself) made a short 24hour turn around trip to Austin this weekend. We chose to take this trip because one it was a rather large wedding and paid well and two they agreed that my girl could bring her infant because she was still nursing. One of the things I vowed, that I would never ask one of my girls to neglect their role as a wife or mother with their role as an artist with me. I believe there is a way you can balance and compromise on most things.

On this trip up we scheduled our departure around the baby's napping schedule knowing we wanted to make the 4 hour trip up there as easy as possible on her and us. Knowing this child is an easy going, laid back, low maintenance and all around happy infant, we planned for the best. The trip up went as planned. The baby was asleep within just a few minutes and slept the entire trip up there. This gave us all of us time to chat, catch up, and listen to some good words of wisdom from Pastor Paula White.


The next day, after a lack of sound rest due to being away from home and "off schedule", my girl and I went to do our job and the baby stayed with her sister at the hotel as planned. Even though work went well and as planned for the most part, there are always those unforeseen stresses that you have to deal with that really have nothing to do with you. This was my day for that! After our job was complete, we loaded up to head home (close to 4pm). Needless to say the trip home was not on the baby's sleeping schedule.

We headed out for our drive home at 4pm. The baby had already had some sporadic off and on naps that morning due to her late night up and early to rise schedule, and was not interested in any rest now. Nor did she want to be strapped down in a car seat. This even tempered, laid back and easy going child became nothing less then a normal infant expressing her discontentment for what she was being forced to endure. The first two hours of driving was met with bouts of babbling unhappy baby talk (I'm telling you she was seriously telling us off!), portions of gut wrenching screams from the top of her small yet powerful lungs, until she finally cried herself into a short nap.


During this portion of our trip we stopped no less then 3 time attempting to comfort her (and us) in some way. Funny enough, as soon as we released her from her captive, the car seat, and handed her to mom she was quite happy and content. Just like nothing had ever happened! This particular part of our trip added an additional hour and half to our trip and made it feel extremely long and stressful. We were not angry or upset, just knew how terribly unhappy this poor baby was (especially for mom who's heart was wrenched by the cries of her child. Even though she knew nothing was really "wrong" and she was not hurt or needing anything, a child's cry hurts the heart of the parents that love them when they hear it.)

So what is my point? Other then we tortured this poor infant with a 4 hour road trip?

I asked the Father what can I pray over this child to help her? What does she need?(other then her way and out of the car seat!) One word- Contentment!

This young infant needed contentment, yet infants are to young and immature to understand that and honestly all they know is they just want what they want.

Are we like infants that the Father puts on a path or road that we NEED to go down to get to where He wants us to be! and Maybe He "straps us" with certain things to keep us safe or teach us something? Do we yell and kick and scream that we are uncomfortable with the tests and trials we go through? Are we pitching a fit because we don't know what He has planned for us? Because we want what we want? Not really knowing WHY we going through these things, but not mature enough to know He has our best interest at work? Do we have to have Him stop the progress just so He can comfort us from out fit throwing? Have we (due to our infant nature) actually prolong the trip or process due to the way we react to it?
This infant did not have the capacity to understand that she didn't have to be happy being strapped in a car seat but that she just needed to be content where she was. She just knew she didn't like it or want it! We knew it was the safest thing for her and implemented it regardless of her wants and vocal displeasures. I wonder if it hurts the Father's heart to hear us scream our displeasures when He knows that the plans and processes that He has us set on or for our best interest?

OR are we like adolescents? Who realize that this road must be traveled, but isn't happy. So they just entertains themselves with whatever they can do to take the focus off of the uncomfortable nature of the drive or process they have to walk through? Are we saying to God...are we there yet? Are you done with this process? I need to stop for a bit! Yes, they know contentment and exercise it as an adolescent AND the trip is a bit quicker, but did we really learn or get anything from it? OR were we so engulfed in our "busy-ness" we are just trying to make it to the end?

OR are we the adult? The adult who sees the road ahead, reads the signs, and hears the voice of the "navigator" as to where to go?

The adult gets to see the beautiful scenery along the sides of the road as they cruise down this road. The adult knows they must take the trip, make the journey, and are willing to engage in it and not just be "content" with it.
The adult plans for it, prepares for it, listens and learns from it. Instead of just a road trip it becomes a scenic cruise in the vehicle. Even if storms come, rain pours, hazards pop us to throw them off track, or stress levels rise. They still cruise.

What did I learn?

How do I want to learn or walk my road that the Father sets me on? Without contentment and with contempt? With Contentment but learn nothing along the way? or do I want to be the adult who can hear the spirit, the "navigator"? To see the beauty of the trip and learn from every turn and the process that He deems I need.
I do believe I want to the adult.

Are you looking through Rose colored glasses?

I just came back from a women's conference called Redeeming Pink. Pretty suitable for me huh?! I have to say this hands down the MOST amazing women's conference I have ever attended. They minister to women like women need it. I know that in some way I will not only be a part of this but will extend it out to others because God has placed pink in me way before I ever even heard about this ministry. Pure Love glasses that only God can provide.

So, am I looking through rose colored glasses? Why YES! Yes I am! but not by the worlds standard or definition of rose colored glasses but my Lords. As I said in my pink roses post, to me pink is a color of pure love. The only  love that is pure is God's love. As His love fills me more and more and is evident to me more and more inevitably I find myself looking at things through HIS rose colored glasses.

Everything I see, I see God in. Every event that happens, happens for His reasons. I know it's all in God's plan in His timing. This weekend He constantly showed me His love, His plans, and His will. How He sees things, how He plans things, and His timing is perfect. I saw how He would orchestrate people to be in a certain places, do certain things, and prevent certain happens to all work in His will.  There is NO WAY I could have ever imagined or made up these things I experienced this weekend much less tried to orchestrate them on my own. The only reason I can see them is through HIS rose colored glasses that He has given me to see through. My love, ability, and passions are not enough. I need His love, His Power, and HIS passions placed in my life and on my eyes so that I can see how HE want me to do things.

It's like a puzzle. One event happens and you don't know why or you think it may have just been a "fluke" event, but had that one event not happened it would not have opened the doors for others. God has all this in His plan and to complete is His big puzzle. Piece by piece. Can you see how God has positioned and planned events and people to be in your life at a certain times? For a certain time? Can you see what He has planned not only for YOU but for those around you? You see the encounters and positions He has ordained for you? 


If not you may want to exchange you glasses for some rose colored glasses. 
Pure Love glasses that only God can provide.

Is your head in the sand?

Leviticus 19:17 (Message Version)" Don't secretly hate your neighbor. If you have something against him, get it out in the open; otherwise you are an accomplice in his guilt."

I'm sure we all know by neighbor they don't mean the person who lives next door to you although it may apply. But seriously, how many times do we "not like" someone or someone "rubs us wrong". Now don't get me wrong, we don't have to be buddy buddy with EVERYONE, but we should not harbor hate or have "issues" with them. Especially, our brothers and sisters in Christ. I am as guilty of this as anyone.

How many times has there been "tension" between us and someone else and we don't even know why? We are semi polite or we just ignore them as to not address what may be underlying. Ducking our head in the sand like an ostrich is one of Satan's number one tools used to divide the church and ostracize Christians from each other.

Instead of "being polite", "pretending nothing's wrong", or maybe even posting a random anonymous comment on facebook about it....why don't we just address it? Like a wound that is not cared for, only two outcomes will happen. It will either fester with infections and become even more hurtful and volatile OR it will scar over and become hardened, visible, and sensitive. Neither is what God has intended for our relationship with each other to be.

Beside, (on a selfish note) do you REALLY want to carry someone else's guilt or issues? Don't we have enough to reconcile on our own to God without carrying anyone else's? I know I do!

So I encourage you ladies, and I say to myself as well, stop back biting, secretly talking, posting "random vents", and passing each other by with unaddressed tension. Pull your head out of the sand, look your neighbor in the eye and make a beautiful resolved relationship 
instead of an ignored festering wound .

Designing God's house

So, I decided to redecorate my bedroom. A task that I have been putting off for YEARS.

After many hours of thinking and shopping for inspiration I had an idea of what I wanted to do. I was going to make a mini canopy. It would be elegant, romantic, and soft looking. I looked all over Baytown for the right material to construct this but could not find what I wanted...so I expanded my search. I went to a great place in Houston called High Fashion Fabrics. I knew if I couldn't find the material I needed here then I had a problem! As I walked in I looked around....there was SO MUCH fabric to choose from!! I knew what kind of material I wanted for this specific job now I just had to go and find it!!! 

Isn't God like that? He has a house He is outfitting. He has a specific way He wants it to look and be designed.  Now He is just looking for the perfect material to fulfill that job.

As I started looking around a nice lady asked if she could help me....YES!! I told her what I was doing and what type of material I was looking for and she started leading me to the right areas. Well, after a bit, we found "IT"! The most gorgeous piece of material I had ever seen! It was gorgeous, perfect for the job, and SO ME!!! 

I wonder if that is how God feels when He finds us available and ready to be used in His house? Gorgeous...the most beautiful thing He has has ever seen! Perfect...He see us as perfect for the job He has planned for us! and SO HIM...made in His likeness, with His traits, and for His pleasure! To be used and constructed in whatever way He pleases.

Now when we found the "perfect" piece it wasn't quite so perfect. It was a bit tattered and some things had come loose from people handling it carelessly, but nothing that couldn't be fixed. Honestly, it was so perfect for what I was wanting to do I would have done whatever I needed to fix it! In addition there was a limited amount. Pieces had been taken here and there so there was barely enough and each inch would count. So I bought it all and was just gong to make sure I used it wisely.

You know most of us are tattered and torn from people not handling us with the delicacy or respect we deserve. God says it's ok. It's a minor thing I can just sew back in place and make it stronger and more secure then even before! The you will be whole and beautiful as you were made from the beginning!

God wants all type of material to use in His house. Burlap.... it is rough, strong, and can hold up to just about anything! A little itchy and abrasive at times, but whether on it's own or paired with another type of material  it can make a really cool design. Satin and silk....soft, smooth and beautiful but sometime the most difficult to sew. Cotton....good stable material, can be used for just about anything, and comes in so many different patterns, colors, and thicknesses it is widely used. Then you have the super intricate and "blingy" materials that are stunning and eye catching. These have taken HOURS of  handwork and sewing to make them the way they are. They are also the most delicate to rip, tear and are the most costly. 

What kind of material are you?

The bigger question is how much material do you have ready to be used by God to make His house how He wants it to be? Have you given so much to others that you don't have enough for Him to use as He would like? Even if your torn and tattered He can repair it to better then before, BUT you have to reserve enough for HIM for when He comes to choose you for the job He has designed.

Making bread for the hungry.....

So growing up I have always heard that God if the ultimate potter...or in cooking terms bread maker and we were the bread. As I went through the process of ACTUALLY making bread (pizza dough to be precise) I thought MAYBE, just MAYBE He has called us to be Jr. bakers under his authority. I know, off the beaten path a little but here are my thoughts. 

There is are a few base elements you MUST have and without one of them it doesn't work properly.

Flour, yeast, sugar, water, oil.

Wheat flour.... the basic main ingredient. We, Christians, are the flour...the true church of God. I am the main ingrediant in the making of bread for the hungry. NOW before you get all crunchy, I know it's not all about me so hear me out..

Without a true, obediant Christian yearning and longing to serve under God's devine authority how will we reach those who hunger for truth? I am not saying God can't, but I am saying He created us to not only worship Him in all things but to bring others to Him to do the same. 

Yeast and sugar... now I know in some contexts it's been portrayed as a negative thing...but I found it as a good thing! Matthew 13:33 Message .."God's kingdom is like yeast that a woman works into the dough for dozens of loaves of barley bread- and waits while the dough rises.

Now ain't that something?!?! If we don't work (work being the key word here) the kingdom into our life it will never rise! WHOOOOW!

Now the sugar activates the yeast. I beg to say I have several different types of sugar or activators in my life. My sweet husband, my pastor, and some of my closest friends and family. Not only do they taste good to me but they help activate the things of the kingdom that need to be kneeded into me.

Water....Can we really live without it? No! The Holy Spirit is vital to our daily life and living as well as anything we hope to produce for God in the Kingdom( John 4:14). Without water in bread... can you even make bread?!?

You must have the Holy Spirit in truth through the Word of God DAILY or you will quickly become dehydrated. If you have no water in your dough....well then there is no dough just some flour.

Oil- The annointing or God's will on our lives....So what happens if you cook bread wihtout oil? I mean you can do it, but you will get a dry bread that will go stale very quickly because oil helps keeps it fresh and pliable and it also won't rise as well.

hmmmm So I can be bread and bring others in without an annointing or living up to the fullnes of His will for me? Sure you can, but do I really want to do that?!? Do I want to be dry bread? Do I want to go stale quickly? or flat? UMM NO! I want to KNOW and be IN His will! I want to make peoples mouths water so badly for God and His Kingdom that they can't wait to taste and see that He is good!

So there's all the ingrediants....that's the easy stuff!! NOW the REAL work begins! My dad always said anything worth having never comes easy and requires hard work. Well, there is no difference in God's kingdom.

I don't know if you have ever "worked bread" but it ain't easy....10 or more minutes of pushing, kneeding and pulling on this dough and it gets tiring. Your arms get fatigued and ache. You get tired and honestly it's a bit of a workout! BUT if you stop it never rises to the full potential the head baker has intended for you to make.

How many of us are tired? Fatigued? BUT still know that God has so much more to "activate" in us for us to rise to HIS potential (not just our potential we see)! This is when looking ahead and knowing the finished product is worth all the aches, pains, and fatigue it takes to get there.

After the kneeding process of combining all the elements until they are so intermeshed they cannot be seperated, then and only then do you rest.  Rest in very importants in the process. This is where you get to grow and rise to the full potential of Gods plan for you. Somtimes the hardest thing for us to do it rest, but there is always a time to work and a time to rest. If you don't rest you don't get to rise.

Baking, WOW! Ok so I'm not sure what I think of this process. I mean who likes fire!?!

Well come to think of it, I do! I want to be the one that walks through the fire unharmed and not even the smell of ash on me, like Shadrach, Meshach , and Abednigo did! I want to come out of the fire fresh and smelling like something that fills the whole room with desire to eat and be filled.

So, what is the point? I mean it ALL sounds good in theory but if you don't see the end and the reason for it....why bother?! I want to not only be the bread, but I want to help make the bread and activate in others to feed the hungry of this world.

The only things that will ever really satify you is the bread of Life. Life in Christ and His kingdom. Life that without Him isn't even worth living. I want to go through all the kneeding I need done, make sure I have every ingredient in me meshed together to where it can never be disolved apart from each other so that I can rise to be what God wants me to be, BUT ULTIMATELY to bring other into the kingdom and feed them Him so that they then can not only be satified and see that He is good, but also start to the baking process in themsleves to reach others and feed them as well.

Good Baking my friends~

Pink Roses...

So that you can get to know a little more about me and where I can coming from here is a my view of the color pink.

Yesterday while at the grocery store I saw the most beautiful bouqet of roses. I was having a very tiring emotional day(in a good way but still). I decided they made me smile so I bought them to have at home to brighten my day a bit. 

After I got the roses home I began preparing them to be put in the vase to place on my table. I thought why did i  buys the pink ones?! Well I am sure most of you are going well DUH! We know! lol. But my answer may surprise you!

As I began to work with these beautiful delicate flowers, the Lord started to speak to me about my simple bouqet of roses that made me smile. 

This bouqet was wrapped nice and pretty in a package and looked good to the eyes, but if you don't take them, do some work on them and give them water when you get them home they will wilt and die QUICKLY! So as in a normal routine I did this. I took the old binding off because they are no longer serving the purpose they were before I bought them they are serving my purpose now. So, I have to arrange them how I see fit and beautiful. Isn't that what God wants to do with us? Bring us out of a place where we are bound to die and be thrown away if not taken care of? Doesn't He see us in a beautiful place to display show and bring joy to Him? To make Him smile?

As I I started preparing the roses they came with a package of "plant food". Basics right? food and water? No water the roses die. The roses can live in just water but they flourish and last longer with the plant food. So I mix the water and food together for the ultimate sustaining nutrition my gorgeous roses will need to flourish. Now I don't just spray the flowers with this mix every now and then do I? No, that would be pointless. I submerge them in it. Fully surrounding and engulfing the open ends in this mixtures of sustaining life feed. Without a mix of our Father's living water and spiritual food where will we be? And is it just enough to get a sprinkle here and there? or every now and then? NO! We must be submerged in His life sustaining  solution so we don't end up dead and wilting.

Next I take out the knife. Yes I know, a crude way of doing things but have I ever done things the easy way now have I? NO! I fervently start choping off the the dead ends of the roses and surrounding greenery so  that it can soak up the nutririon that is around it and I have provided for it! I can throw the roses in there without pruning them but the dead dry end will prevent them from getting the nutrition it fully needs to extend it's life and reach it's maximum potential in beauty and purpose. I am sure if these roses had nerves or feeling they would be screaming horiblly in pain about the process, the very necessary process, I put them through. You know once we come from where we were, destine to do nothing but sit in a group of others that kinda look like us and die the hand of God takes us in to make us stand out and be a beautiful display for Him, BUT there is a cutting away process. We can't live to our full potential that God has planned for us without that painful process. Some of my "branches" are thicker and more stuborn then others but either way the dead ends have to go so I can flourish for Him.

After the mess I made removing all the dead ends I then started meticulously arranging each flower and stem just where it needed to be to display it's maximum beauty potential. I would place one here, then remove it and place it there until all of the different elements worked together to make a beautiful display. At the end it warmed my heart and made me smile even bigger and broader then when I chose them. Isn't this what God does with us? He take the different parts of us and our lives and moves them around. Maybe one rose stem doesn't look as good by the big green fluffy leaves as it does the smaller delicate ones? Maybe to many roses are clustered together and needs to be separated a bit so each rose or area in our life can shine on its own as well as add to the overall beauty of the arrangement? I am sure the flowers didn't understand why I kept moving, arranging and reerrangng (if they could of course) but I was looking at it as whole and it was beautiful! That's all I want to be is beautiful HIS eyes and make Him smile.

So now we have a gorgeous arrangement that has been through a process to get there, but why pink? AHA! You thought I forgot! Nope! The red rose stands for Love, the white rose stands for Purity. So the mix of both? PINK? you got it a Pure Love! That's what God's love is for us.... Pure Love! He wants us to have that pure love that only He can give and create in our marriages, our lives, our families, and to share to all that are around us. But only from Him choosing us, unbinding us, pruning us, feeding us, and arranging us can we become the beautiful display of pure love, pink roses, that he intends for us to be and that.......makes Him smile. :)